Mom Thoughts

A few "mom-thoughts" for your Wednesday... 

1. Who taught my kid the word "butt-hole?" ... I surely don't use that in conversation and have never called Winnie a "butthole-baby". 

2. How many days do I let this "Can I have a piece of halloween candy?" non-sense continue? I'm sure I've said "no more candy" at least 37 times today. 

3. Nerds are like the glitter of candy. Where the eff do they keep coming from? 

4. How soon is too soon to put up Christmas decor? I know once the tree goes up, the kids will ask relentlessly when Santa is coming. 

5. Is bedtime fair game after dark? #daylightsavings

6. Bellamy had a dream that Jesus came over and jumped on her trampoline and then ate wild babies for dinner. On a scale of 1 to physcopath, how concerned should I be? Also, what in the actual hell is a wild baby? 

7. "This is Us" has made me cry like a baby every episode. I'm not sure how much longer I can tolerate all these emotions. Collin says I'm like Elsa, cold as ice. 

8. Bellamy was bothered by Winnie's crying yesterday and told her to "be quiet and go eat a boob!" touche.

9. I will put myself on a corner if it means I can afford my house cleaner every week. Because there's nothing quite like walking out of your house, only to come back 3 hours later to no more Dorito fingerprints or goldfish crumbs. Reminds me of this.  

10. Being a mom is some sort of strange reality - your kids can drive you to an insane asylum, but you come out in your white mental suite loving them even more. It really is magical and unexplainable and crazy in the best way possible.