Mom Thoughts

A few things on my mind this week... 

1. What would it be like to unroll my own toilet paper & flush my own pee? I have so many helpers!
2. What did I used to spend my money on before I bought dry shampoo?
3. Am I allowed to have a mini-fridge in my room, despite the fact that I'm no longer in college? I can't even tell you how many nights I wake up completely parched - get mama a cold one!
4. Baylor asked me "what door does your baby come out of?" - Is this a trick question? What the eff do I say here? Is "go ask your dad" a suitable response? God knows what he'll say?
5. Baylor also asked me why only mommies are allowed to say bad words. Because mommies are allowed to do whatever the hell we please, damnit!
6. Winnie is really into talking like the big kids, and they've declared it absolutely hilarious that she'll repeat virtually anything they tell her to. Topping the list of popular words they ask her to repeat: poopy, booty and stinky. I've lost the battle, but not the war.
7. How has nobody invented a pulley system to deliver snacks to the back row of the car? I'm virtually driving a bus these days, and have sent far too many snacks rouge to the trunk to keep at this pace. Here I come, Shark Tank.
8. How many cans of La Croix in a day is too many? Also, can one survive on a steady diet of pita chips & hummus?
9. Three people (NOT store employees) offered to help me to my car at Home Depot last week - do I really look like that much of a circus?
10. Bellamy asked me "What happens when I disappear?" yesterday ... should I be concerned?

Happy Friday - we're doing a garage sale & lemonade stand today ... in the rain. Pray for me.
#youcanhaveit #free #buyoneget8 #justtakeit