That time we didn't make it to Chicago

I have “Chicago” written in my calendar, I had the dress bought and the tickets booked. Collin and I had planned on going to Chicago for Diamond Bound last weekend, a Young Living event full of amazing speakers and opportunities to build relationships with incredible friends. I had our tickets bought, our hotel booked, my gala dress purchased (& altered - kiss that return goodbye) and my heart set on an amazing weekend away with some of my favs.

Life happened, we had a bit of a family emergency/situation, and I made the call to stay home. Collin had to continue on to Chicago because he had plans to speak while we were there and so there I was. Home, with 4 kids, no husband and an unexpected broken heart. What? Broken heart? Not me.

Here’s the thing - I don’t get disappointed very often. I’m an optimist by nature, I live to find the silver lining and I’m very flexible. It takes a LOT to ruffle my feathers. So when I say my heart was a little bit broken, it shocks me as much as it does anyone. I was not expecting to feel this way when I made the final call to not get on the plane.

The truth is this: I didn’t know what to do. I almost googled “How to get over disappointment” but I reeled in my pity party and decided that time will heal this and I just needed to keep moving. It’s Tuesday now, and while I’m over the fact that I missed out on something I was really looking forward to, I’m still thinking about that feeling and how bad it felt. I know I made the right choice, but that didn’t make it any easier.

I’m sharing this here, not for sympathy (my worst nightmare - that’s for another story), but to let you know that it’s ok. I think we all go through unexpected feelings at some point or another and not knowing what to do with them is ok. Sometimes just sitting in those feelings and navigating their waters is enough to get you through. I learned from my disappointment - that it’s ok to embrace the suck - a good cry is therapy, that making tough decisions and sacrifices like this is a gift - because it means you’re lucky enough to love deeply. And that google might not have the answer - the answer lies within. Repeat after me: “I can do hard things.”